The Healing Power of Love
|April 9, 2012||Posted by Jenny Ann Fraser under Feast..., The Art of Kindness|
I also wrote about how it is my responsibility to make sure that I do not allow people in my life who will hurt or abuse me. I made a commitment some time ago not to allow anyone else s judgment, or treatment of me affect my self-worth. You cannot take anything from me that I choose not to give.
And then, just a couple of days later I found myself enduring the wrath of an emotional abuser.
This was a complete and total shock to me as up to that point, I had not known about this person’s temper, nor did I know that that temper had a purpose and it was to bully, berate and belittle. The MO of your average abuser, the goal being to cut another down until they have no strength to fight anymore.
I was unable to escape in that moment, but I can assure you, this person will never do it again. I plan to do whatever it takes to remove myself from the situation so that I have no contact with this particular person for the rest of my life. I absolutely believe that this is the only solution in dealing with someone like this.
What blew me away was the reality, that despite my strength, my love for myself, and my commitment to never giving up my personal power, I was still damaged.
I would compare it to having fallen and sprained an ankle or injured my body in some non-life-threatening but nonetheless painful way.
And now, I need time, space, rest and care to recover and then I will be back to my usual powerhouse self. And just like a sprained ankle, I will in no way be scarred for life. Once I extricate myself from this situation, all will be well.
It is unfortunate, that it is the monsters of this world that seem to have the most impact on it and us, but as is often the case when life get’s stupidly difficult, there is a silver lining to even the blackest cloud.
Feeling worn down injured and incredibly vulnerable, I did something that the Jenny Ann Fraser of the past could never have done. Instead of taking responsibility for the treatment that I so wrongly received and hiding in shame, I reached out and said, “Help. I’m hurting.” And as happens when we are truly willing to receive help, it came. In truckloads.
I got it from close friends and family who know and love me, but I also got it from people I have never met in person.
I shared my story with the wonderful women in Effy Wild’s Facebook Group, The Sisterhood of The Book and was overwhelmed with love, support and genuine caring. Instantly I was filled with love and gratitude which has it’s own magic way of clearing out pain.
It reminded me again of what we human beings are capable of when we decide to give freely with our hearts wide open for the sake of others.
So far, since this wonderful group came into being just a few short months ago, it has been my pleasure to write supportive, encouraging words to my sisters, supporting their art and doing my part along with the other 493 sisters to give the best of ourselves in the service of anyone who needs support. Of course, giving really is receiving and interacting within the group has become one of my greatest joys.
This time, it was my turn to receive and remarkable healing has already taken place. My bruised soul is rapidly turning back to it’s healthy colour, and while I would certainly have loved to avoid this incident, it shone a light on some really wonderful things about life.
There are more loving people in the world than there are hateful people. It often doesn’t seem that way, but if you open your heart, your mind and your eyes… it will show up.
Sadly, there will always be people who have a pathalogical need to hurt others, and the only way to avoid them entirely would be to avoid people entirely… And then you would miss out on all of the love and joy that life has to offer.
That said: when you come across one of these monsters, RUN AWAY! This is not cowardice, it’s love.
When you’re hurt, don’t hide. Reach out and remember there is no shame in asking for help. No one can be strong all of the time, so accept the beauty of what you can find when you’re really willing to look.
How people treat you is never and indication of your worth. Yeah, I know, I said that last week, but I needed to say it again… and again.
How people treat you is never and indication of your worth.
Even when you feel as though life has beaten the crap out of you. There is always something to be grateful for. Acknowledge your pain, but don’t forget to put some focus on the good stuff. If it doesn’t seem as though there is any; look harder and let the healing begin.
I’m not sure what is going to come of this situation as it is still to be resolved this week. I am relying on my faith that things will work out in the end, (and I’m hoping of course that the end is swift and painless). In the meantime, I am actively loving myself and others back to where I was a week ago. More than likely stronger than before.